I Am A Slave
I admit it: I am a slave to microwave food. It is as vital to the world as Tattoo removal is to people who get drunk and have I LOVE YOU! scrawled across their forehead. I love it (microwave food that is, not forehead tattoos). It is excellent, quick, and almost as good as the real thing. Curries, puddings, eggs, all of it. But there is one thing that should never, ever be cooked in the microwave. Yes, you all know what I’m talking about, don’t play dumb: I am talking about the crime that is cooking bacon without the aid of oil and a pan!
It’s disgusting, it really is. More than that! It’s despicable! OK, so the bacon may look edible when cooked inside the microwave, and it may smell like any other kind of bacon to the bacon-novice, but it is not the same. It is limp, a funny pink colour, and not of this world. Powerful a tool as the microwave is, it cannot compete with the humble yet magnificent frying-pan. And it needn’t bother either. The battle was fought and won the moment microwaves came on to the market.
It’s serious business, this. It should not be treated as a joke!
The main reason why cooking bacon in a pan is advantageous, of course, is simply this: you can cook it until it is wonderfully crispy–You can cook it until it is the most delicious and excellent food on earth. But what do you get from the microwave? Little is the answer! It resents crispy bacon. It resents everything which does not utilize new-fangled microwave energy!
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